Love yourself

Rhea was eager to speak to her sister to share the decision to part ways with Sujoy after 3 years in relationship. Her last two attempts to share her decision with sis were disastrous, for she could not gather enough courage to initiate the conversation. Today she had called her sister to a restaurant that has ‘only for ladies’ policy every Wednesday with extended Happy Hours till 8 PM, another marketing gimmick to lure crowd to keep mid week day busy.

She reached the restaurant an hour and half before time. Her mind is juggling with many thoughts as she is firm on her decision to be herself, she needs her sister to stamp it now. She took a corner table which usually people avoid as it offers the full view of its occupant to all walkers on the busy Hauz Khas lane. She ordered special masala lemonade from mohan nagar, under category of new arrival and settled herself on a cosy cane chair. Desi local drinks were her favourite. She recalled her first date with Sujoy while having goli wala banta bottle. Smile appeared on her face and she evokes how Sujoy approached her without any common thread at the cafe. She liked his confident but demure personality. Loud birthday cheer from other corner of restaurant broke Rhea’s chain of thoughts. Ladies clicking pics, cheering, blowing kisses in air and dancing. It was like they were celebrating their independence with no ogling eyes around, freedom to behave the way they want to and do what they like to; they reminded her of free flock of birds in the sky with no prying eyes.

She started to arrange her thoughts on how she is going to bring up this conversation with sis. 3 years of togetherness and know it all phase took the charm off this relation. Sujoy became as predictable as Johny Johny nursery rhyme. Her choices-especially when she prefers goli wala banta bottle over his sex on the beach type mock tails or when she enjoys buddi amma ke pink baal without any hiccups in front of his regular cyber city friends, had started to irk him. Peer pressure built up and Sujoy started to react, on the same habits which attracted him towards Rhea.

Happy faces of cheerful ladies in tube tops and LBD on the other end of restaurant planted another thought in Rhea’s mind, what makes greater bond while you are on a journey together with a person? For sure it is not physical attraction because this is the 1st thing which fizzle out soon, more so with FB generation. Soon you know which trigger will bring what reaction and you find yourself adjusting with situation. When love is replaced with series of endless adjustment it is the start of the end of relationship. That leaves Rhea with deeper question, what keeps the relationships alive? It is certainly not the tips from 50 shades of grey as suggested by her girly roommate from hostel. Could it be respect? For sure Respect is important in any relationship but you need something more than that to keep things going. Is it Love itself? But then everyone has their own definition of love and they all seem to be right, if not perfect definitions.

Challenges appear when individuals start to lose their own identity and start to see themselves through the lens of their partner. For it is when you see yourself through the eyes of others you have given your charge to the other person and you start to feel about yourself the way others see you. World is so full of individuals trying to correct others or mend their habits as per their own comfort level.

Rhea’s thought pushed her further, for the want of companionship individuals are losing their own identity. One doesn’t have to stop being himself and feel suffocated under the garb of being with someone. Being together doesn’t mean you stop living your life. First priority for anyone is to take care of oneself, for if you are not happy with yourself, you can’t keep people around you happy. No two persons on this planet can be identical – in habits, interests, response & the way their mind process information, so why take stress or even attempt to make anyone like you. Respect for being two distinctive individual personalities and tolerance are the solid rocks which can form the base of any relationship.

A loud call of her name ‘Rheeeeaaaa’ made sure that every head in restaurant turned in the direction of the voice. She saw that smiling face walking merrily towards her with open arms giving a damn to the world around. Without any sign of embarrassment she picked herself up to be dropped in the arms of someone who had always accepted her as she is, her gorgeous sis…

While she hugged her sis, Rhea is determined to leave the traces of past behind, look forward to good things in life and simply love herself as she is.